My BBOS

The Room...
by: brian moore

In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in the room. There were no distinguishing features except for the one wall covered with small index card files. They were like the ones in libraries that list titles by author or subject in alphabetical order. But these files, which stretched from floor to ceiling and seemingly endless in either direction, had very different headings. As I drew near the wall of files, the first to catch my attention was one that read "Girls I have liked." I opened it and began flipping through the cards. I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that I recognized the names written on each one. And then without being told, I knew exactly where I was.

This lifeless room with its small files was a crude catalog system for my
life. Here were written the actions of my every moment, big and small, in a detail my memory couldn't match. A sense of wonder and curiosity, coupled with horror, stirred within me as I began randomly opening files and exploring their content. Some brought joy and sweet memories; others a sense of shame and regret so intense that I would look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching.

A file named "Friends" was next to one marked "Friends I have betrayed." The titles ranged from the mundane to the outright weird "Books I Have Read," "Lies I Have Told," "Comfort I have Given," "Jokes I Have Laughed at ." Some were almost hilarious in their exactness: "Things I've yelled at my brothers." Others I couldn't laugh at: "Things I Have Done in My Anger", "Things I Have Muttered Under My Breath at My Parents." I never ceased to be surprised by the contents.

Often there were many more cards than I expected. Sometimes fewer t han I hoped. I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the life I had lived. Could it be possible that I had the time in my years to fill each of these thousands or even millions of cards? But each card confirmed this truth. Each was written in my own handwriting. Each signed with my signature.

When I pulled out the file marked "TV Shows I have watched", I realized the files grew to contain their contents. The cards were packed tightly, and yet after two or three yards, I hadn't found the end of the file. I shut it, shamed, not so much by the quality of shows but more by the vast time I knew that file represented.

When I came to a file marked "Lustful Thoughts," I felt a chill run through my body. I pulled the file out only an inch, not willing to test its size and drew out a card. I shuddered at its detailed content.

I felt sick to think that such a moment had been recorded. An almost animal rage broke on me. One thought dominated my mind: No one must ever see these cards! No one must ever see this room! I have to destroy them!" In insane frenzy I yanked the file out. Its size didn't matter now. I had to empty it and burn the cards. But as I took it at one end and began pounding it on the floor, I could not dislodge a single card. I became desperate and pulled out a card, only to find it as strong as steel when I tried to tear it.

Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to its slot. Leaning my
forehead against the wall, I let out a long, self-pitying sigh.

And then I saw it.. The title bore "People I Have Shared the Gospel With." The handle was brighter than those around it, newer, almost unused. I pulled on its handle and a small box not more than three inches long fell into my hands. I could count the cards it contained on one hand.

And then the tears came. I began to wee p. Sobs so deep that they hurt. They started in my stomach and shook through me. I fell on my knees and cried. I cried out of shame, from the overwhelming shame of it all. The rows of file shelves swirled in my tear-filled eyes. No one must ever, ever know of this room. I must lock it up and hide the key. But then as I pushed away the tears, I saw Him.

No, please not Him. Not here. Oh, anyone but Jesus. I watched helplessly as He began to open the files and read the cards. I couldn't bear to watch His response. And in the moments I could bring myself to look at His face, I saw a sorrow deeper than my own.

He seemed to intuitively go to the worst boxes. Why did He have to read every one? Finally He turned and looked at me from across the room. He looked at me with pity in His eyes. But this was a pity that didn't anger me. I dropped my head, covered my face with my hands and began to cry again. He walked over and put His arm around me. He could have said so many things. But He didn't say a word. He just cried with me.

Then He got up and walked back to the wall of files. Starting at one end of the room, He took out a file and, one by one, began to sign His name over mine on each card. "No!" I shouted rushing to Him. All I could find to say was "No, no," as I pulled the card from Him. His name shouldn't be on these cards. But there it was, written in red so rich, so dark, so alive. The name of Jesus covered mine. It was written with His blood. He gently took the card back. He smiled a sad smile and began to sign the cards. I don't think I'll ever understand how He did it so quickly, but the next instant it seemed I heard Him close the last file and walk back to my side.

He placed His hand on my shoulder and said, "It is finished." I stood up,
and He led me out of the room. There was no lock on its door. There were still cards to be written.

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."-Phil. 4:13

"For God so loved the world that He gave His only son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life." If you feel the same way forward it so the love of Jesus will touch their lives also. My "People I shared the gospel with" file just got bigger, how about yours?

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

17-year-old Brian Moore had only a short time to write something for a
class. The subject was what Heaven was like. "I wowed 'em," he later told
his father, Bruce. "It's a killer. It's the bomb. It's the best thing I ever
wrote.." It also was the last.

Brian Moore died May 27, 1997, the day after Memorial Day. He was driving
home from a friend's house when his car went off Bulen-Pierce Road in
Pickaway County and struck a utility pole. He emerged from the wreck
unharmed but stepped on a downed power line and was electrocuted.

The Moores framed a copy of Brian's essay and hung it among the family
portraits in the living room. "I think God used him to make a point. I think
we were meant to find it and make something out of it," Mrs. Moore said of
the essay. She and her husband want to share their son's vision of life
after death. "I'm happy for Brian. I know he's in heaven. I know I'll see
him."

1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
        Unique Up On It.

2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
        Tame Way. Unique Up On It.   

3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest ? 
        They Take The Psycho Path

4. How Do You Get Holy Water?
        You Boil The Hell Out Of It           

5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?
        Dam!               

6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?
        Polaroids

7. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work?
        A Stick

8. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
        Nacho Cheese.

9. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
        Subordinate Clauses.

10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
        Quattro Sinko.

11. What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow?
        Spoiled Milk.

12. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?
        Frostbite.

13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?    
          A Nervous Wreck.

14. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
        Anyone Can Roast Beef.

15. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?
        Right Where You Left Him.

16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
        Because They Have Big Fingers .

17. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
        Because It Scares The Dog.

18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?
        Sanka.

19. What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover?   
        The Location Of The Dirt Bag.

20. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?
        Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat.

21. What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver?
        A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack, Dang!
        A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack .

22. How Are a Texas Tornado And a Tennessee Divorce The Same?
        Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer

My day was going pretty good. I was in the process of doing errands and getting some lip balm for Barbara – she had been chewing on her lips again.

 

The day started out good, I had been encouraged even. Thanks to some wily therapists, Barbara had been kept out of bed all morning. They had managed to keep her sitting up right for almost 4 hours by splattering her PT in between 15-minute rests.

 

When she was finished with PT I walked beside her as she worked her way down the hall with her walker – that was almost half way back to her room – and then the rest of the way she pushed herself in her wheel chair. She told me she how she ate a big breakfast in the cafeteria that morning and then I chatted with her a bit more as she attempted to eat some of the lunch.

 

After we had returned to the room I mentioned the condition of her lips. That is when she said she couldn’t find her Carmex in the little jar. That is no biggie – Target was just about four streets away. That my friends is where this story truly begins.

 

I went to Target – I took my time, it had been a long time since I had been in a store and not felt rushed by someone. Whenever I go home I escort my mom to the store and follow her like a lost puppy. Other times I have a time restraint on me – or I avoid it all together because if I go, I might spend money that I can’t afford to right now.

 

But it was nice to look at gadgets, and thing-a-ma-bobs and not really have a purpose – except the lip balm of course.

 

I left Target and was almost completely backed out when something knocked my car sideways. A woman in a huge silver SUV had just crushed the right rear side panel of my already beat to a pulp car. I set there for a minute. Thinking she might get out of her car and come over. She was obviously not budging. So I pulled partially back up into the space I had been in.

 

I thought to myself. My car already looks like it's been in a demolition derby anyway, what does it matter. She not hurt, her cars not hurt. I’ll just tell her that it’s ok and to have a great day.

 

I wish I could say that it went well for me from there on out but it didn't. She was rude and yet rude really doesn’t describe it. She said that I was backing up too, that is true – I was backing up AWAY from her. The flat of the rear bumper of her car had crushed the side panel of my car. I knew clearly who was at fault. Yet, her rudeness caught me off guard – especially since I was polite and calm when I approached her car. She looked down at me in disdain through her window as though I was some poor white trash. Not even giving me the courtesy of getting out of the car in order to talk to me like I was part of the human race.

 

When she became rude I just stood in silence… what was I to say? I had already made the decision in my heart to let her go without any penalty. So I walked away. Disappointed.

 

Disappointed and feeling as though she had judged me by my car… thinking I was going to try and squeeze a nickel out of her. Her attitude almost made me want to try and squeeze a quarter out of her... but I knew what I had been prompted to do. Let her go - free of charge. 

 

After she drove off… I cried. I felt like a victim all over again… funny how I thought I had dealt with those emotions. The powerlessness of the feeling that no one cared. The feeling that I was isolated and alone and no one could or would help me. That horrible feeling that I had no defender.

 

I know that isn’t true, God is my defender – God is powerful – God does care – God was all around me – more importantly He was with me then in those horrible moments.

 

What is unfortunate is that I know that unless that lady repents some day that she may reap just what she had sown today. God doesn't take abuse of His Children lightly, I pray the Lord will have mercy on her.

 

I’ve been trying to release the bitterness to Him all afternoon. The forgiving is past - the damage to my car clearly done, but that horrid bitter taste in my mouth just doesn’t seem to want to go away.

 

Some sort of weird dialog has been playing in my head like some crazy runaway CD of all of the things I should have said to her… The things I would have liked to have said to her in order to convict her of her bad behavior – the “Holy Spirit Jr.” side of me has been crying out to be heard and I can’t seem to get “him” to shut up.

 

I know that thinking things like that are a waste of time and energy – mainly because she will never hear these wonderful glib things that my mind had conjured up – nor is she ever likely to care that she hurt me with her rudeness much less care that she hurt my dilapidated car.

 

Most of the evening when I got quiet my thoughts have swirled around this one S-T-U-P-I-D event – and I caught myself continually saying “SHUT UP ABOUT IT ALREADY” and praying "God take this hurt away – heal the bitterness this is trying to stir up in me. Help this one event not steal the goodness that You have given to me today."

 

I’m grateful to the friends that I called to help me in my time of crisis. To help me by just listen to me cry and then help process what I was feeling. To the friend that let me come over to their home and "hang" – and then fed me a most excellent meal.

 

I’m grateful that in the midst of my emotional roller coaster that I found a place to get off and rest. I’m grateful that my car wasn’t damaged so badly that it couldn’t be driven. I’m grateful that even though my sister might not think so, she did have a good day.

 

I’m grateful for all of you who took the time to read down this far and then took the time to be grateful with me.

 

IF YOU CAN KEEP UP WITH THIS SONG - GOOD LUCK

IF YOU CAN'T JUST SET BACK AND LAUGH!

 

His eye is on the sparrow...

 

 

and the heavens are telling of the glory of God; And their expanse is declaring the work of His hands.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lifting His eyes towards the heavens Jesus prayed..... and the glory which Thou hast given Me I have given to them; that they may be one, just as We are one; I in them, and Thou in Me, that they may be perfected in unity, that the world may know that Thou didst send Me, and didst love them, even as Thou didst love Me. "Father, I desire that they also be with Me where I am, in order that they may behold My glory, which Thou hast given Me; for Thou didst love Me before the foundation of the world. 

And Jesus prayed a third time: 

O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt.

Now an angel from heaven appeared to Him, strengthening Him.

And Jesus, crying out with a loud voice, said,

"Father, INTO THY HANDS I COMMIT MY SPIRIT." And He breathed His last.

 The Lamb that was slain from the creation of the world.

When he had led them out to the vicinity of Bethany, he lifted up his hands and blessed them. While he was blessing them, he left them and was taken up into heaven.

And the four beasts had each of them six wings about him; and they were full of eyes within: and they rest not day and night, saying, Holy, holy, holy, Lord God Almighty, which was, and is, and is to come. 

And all that dwell upon the earth shall worship him, whose names are written in the book of life of the Lamb slain from the foundation of the world. If any man have an ear, let him hear. 

 

 

GOT THIS LINK TODAY FROM A FRIEND.... AWESOME FRIEND... AWESOME VIDEO

 

 

 

HEY did you guys realize that Flamingo's migrate? I guess it is a little known fact, at least I didn't know. AND with all the weird weather we have been having nation wide lately I guess some of them must have been blown way off course.

Because last Tuesday morning on the 17th of April when I woke about 4:30 and couldn't go back to sleep I decided to eat an early breakfast. So I got dressed and I jumped into my jalopy and headed to the nearest IHOP on the Northwest Expressway. Afterwards, as I was walking to my car, I heard a really unusual sound overhead... thinking that it didn't really sound much like geese or an airplane of any kind my head quickly shot up in the noises direction. To my amazement there was a flock of flamingo's!!!

I carry my camera with me pretty much everywhere I go and it was laying in the front seat... I grabbed it and took a couple of quick shots. Then fired up Charlie (my car) and started driving like a mad hatter in pursuit of these unique aviators. I figured they were racing just ahead of the cold front that was approaching, but it also looked like they might be in trouble because they seemed to be circling erratically trying to find safe haven.

Occasionally I was able to take a quick shot carefully out of my car window as we raced in a southwesterly direction. I noticed that they seemed to have zoned into a particular residential area and to my surprise it was a familiar one! In the back of my head I thought... wouldn't it be really cool if... but then dismissed it as an impossibility... it would really be a miracle if that happened. 

However, to my amazement sure enough when I rounded the corner there they were coming to rest in my friends yard. So stopped to take it all in. I had to be really careful... after all it was still very dusky and they had to be a little skittish after flying so long and being thrown off course in such unfamiliar territory and all. 

As a matter of fact, as I was parking, I was barely able to catch the last few flamingo's as they were coming in for their landing. Once they were all down they started relaxing a little and yet they seemed to be studying their surroundings with some intensity. That's when I noticed something even more weird that the flamingo's. Flamingo's that had something that looked like huge flyer's or posters... this was very puzzling to me so I decided to I study quietly for a while. After all when would I possibly ever get another opportunity like this?  

I was trying to figure out what these pamplets were, at first I thought maybe they were advertising flyer's for fund raising... but then I realized DOOH! they don't need to raise money for their flights... heck they have their own wings! Then I thought HEY maybe they're maps! Yeah! That must be it... after all they had been blown way off course to end up in this neck of the woods. And since they had flown for who knows how long maybe they were just confused and resting for a little while and since they were taking a breather why not take a bearing on their directions.

To MY SURPRISE... suddenly they started planting signs!!!! Maybe they hadn't been off course at all!!! Was it by some miracle they knew it was my friends 3rd wedding anniversary! They busied themselves setting up the signs and then they really calmed down and began roosting for a much needed rest. So I left them alone and made a mental note to swing by later that morning when I would be in the area again for an errand.

Deep down I had hoped I'd get a better shot at them in the daylight... but alas by the time I got back into the neighborhood, the weather was only fit for flamingo's and for my friends who happen to love that type of weather! Because, in just the few hours I had been gone, what had been a beautiful morning was now a very rainy day. It was really pouring, visibility was low and unfortunately for some reason a few of them had flown.

I figured that when my friend and her hubby awoke that morning they too had heard the strange "flamigo-ish" sounds that were coming from their front yard and had gone to investigate. I imagine that as they opened their door that they and the flamingos were quiet startled... some of the more skittish of the group probably took flight at that point taking their posters with them. So since the whole group wasn't there any longer and some of the larger posters were gone (which had made the whole thing most spectacular in the first place) I didn't bother taking any other photos. After all it was now broad daylight I figured this time I surely would really spook all the rest of the flock... and I did want them to stay and roost as long as they needed too. I don't know how long the rest of the flock remained that day but I know I felt thankful for the fleeting glimpses I did have of those wonderful birds.

And WOW what a wonderful miracle for my friends! To have an entire flock of these bright pink beauties fly through our state and come to roost in the middle of their yard! But it's even a bigger miracle to have them some how know that it was their wedding anniversary! Like who knew!!! I guess they figured if they were going to land and rest for a while they would at least have the heart to celebrate with them.

HAPPY 3rd ANNIVERSARY! GP & HUBBY